Monday, April 20, 2015

A to Z Challenge/PAD Challenge Letter "S"

S)    Speak to me

There was a time when
I would have done anything to hear your voice.
It’s all about what you don’t say.
You don’t say “I love you.”
You don’t say “I miss you.”
You don’t say “I need you.”
I would have laid at your feet like a dog.
Cut myself open
Share it with you, offer it to you
Til I find a way to exist inside you.
My pain was huge, operatic
I would have eaten my own heart
Right out of your hands
But you never got hungry for me.
You sucked me out of myself
But didn’t put me back, left the pieces all over the place
Let the wind scatter my ashes and
Animals take my bones
I had to look in New York, and London
And my beloved Paris,  
I looked in
Disneyworld and Twentyninepalms
Peoria and El Paso
Flew over the Rock Mountains
With wings constructed of
Chicken wire, newspaper
Had no clue
Didn’t know what or where
Or who
I was
Just pointed myself straight at the setting sun
So Icarian
Fell into
Salt Lake
None of those places put me back together
Because all I wanted was for you
To speak to me
A voice on the other end of the
The easiest thing to find
The hardest thing to

Sunday, April 19, 2015

A to Z Challenge This Week: Letters N through R

I have been writing, but not posting. This week was crazy and got crazier and longer and more stressful the more it went on.
But I wrote, even if it was only a line here and there. As a result they're a little shorter than usual, but that's okay, I plan on making them a little longer for the publication.

N)    Nothing, Again, Nothing
This is what its like to be nothing:
Ice in her eyes
Cracking in her heart
Oh, sorry my mom said
I can only invite five girls!
You can come to my party if you are:
Good looking
Not fat
Who wants to be invisible for a day
I do!

O)       O O O that Shakespearean Rag
Wonderful and terrible
A miracle and a Nightmare
Magical and mundane
There’s so much to do here.
Like Balinese stick puppets
A shadow play
Let’s pretend I was lost at sea
Th girl  who believed
Or the guy who said he loved me said he didn’t

P)       A Proper Fool
What a proper fool am I
To have believed your lies
I’m sure this is written in every poets notebook
Every CD jacket everywhere
But that’s only because its so true.

Q)    Queen Victoria Street
Suddenly I’m here
Singing in the street where
A woman tied ribbons into my hair
I remember that
In a dark place in the street
That doesn’t come into focus
Burning in my minds eye
But I remember trying to hear the songs
That came rickety through my Walkman
I remember the sunrise on homes I’d never visit
And finally the sea.
I felt pulled down the streets,
I wanted to know what their stories were
Who live there
I fight to remember, suddenly taken
Dreaming my way back through time.

R)     Red sails
Unfurled like roses in the dawn
Trailing white foam  in its wake
They came and went
And I watched as stars rose and fell
And lighs flickered on the boats
When they signaled to each other
Speaking a language I didn’t understand
A language of lights and water
And reflection.

Monday, April 13, 2015

A to Z Challenge Days 11-13 Letters K, L, and M

 In case you're just tuning in, for my #PADChallenge (Poem A Day Challenge) which is also a part of the #AtoZBlogChallenge. I am taking one line of text from T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland and using that line for the day that corresponds with today's letter, in alphabetical order. I missed a few days (having visitors here from out of town) which was the letters K,L,and M. So here it is. 

H)    Kings and Keys
I wondered when he would come back.
I went for a walk, maybe to look for him
(But I told myself I wasn’t).
And ended up at the ocean,
Because I’m a selkie
Washed up on the shore.
Whose kingdom is this.
Who is he,
He could be anyone. 
A changeling like me,
Skin hidden away or lost somewhere.

I)       London Bridge is Falling Down.
I cross my arms over my heart
As if that could block you out.
Sugar pink roses
The Thames before breakfast
I have a new way of looking at everything
Something different inside me, changing.
London is my heart and its maps
Is all my arteries.
Walking down an alleyway
Where once Queen Elizabeth, the witch
Claimed asylum,
Or where the Ripper claimed his victims
What’s underneath? Let’s
Peel back the layers. 
Something wanted me to follow him down
Maybe that rabbit
But when I got there it was only
A toy with gears inside.
It’s like searching for the lost little bear
In the Hundred Acre Wood.
London is full of nursery rhymes
Its very streets are paved with

J)       Memory and desire, stirred
I wanted to understand
Even if its means I have to die
Or change
Into someone else. Will I have to?
You have my heart
And I want it back
You’re not careful with fragile things.
You called me by her name,
And I stared at you until you started to look away.  
There are worse things
I have what I need
Sherbet sunrises and mimosa sunsets
A night sky with a million crushed diamonds
Everything but you.
It’s like someone died
And I’ve been in mourning all this time.
Dinner: casseroles, frozen vegetables, noodles
And reality TV for desert.
Online all the time.
Is that so bad?
Recognizing myself from a memory
I don’t remember creating.
A girl from another life.
Who had I once been?
Warrior or wife?
The dreams are so intense its like living
Another life.
Hot smell of blood in the dust
Can someone tell me where they’re from?
I see myself outside myself, when
I’m sleeping.What the difference between
Memory and dream?
I find beauty inside desire which unfolds
Unfurls slowly like a flower or a
Mermaid’s tail.

Friday, April 10, 2015

A to Z Challenge Days 9-10 Letters I and J

 In case you're just tuning in, for my #PADChallenge (Poem A Day Challenge) which is also a part of the #AtoZBlogChallenge. I am taking one line of text from T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland and using that line for the day that corresponds with today's letter, in alphabetical order. I missed yesterday's letter, which was the letter I, and today is the letter J. So here it is.

H)    I never know what you are thinking
Just dreaming all the time.
And believe me, I watch carefully
You look so pale
But there’s also a glow or
A halo
It’s like a tv at night
It both washes you out and illuminates you
How it glimmers blue-white in the dark room
And I am passing under your window
I need to
Tell someone.
I collect night symphonies and
I crush them between my teeth
And let it flow down my chin.
Don’t tell me I’m tripping, I’m not.
Growing up is a collection of
All the echoes of what you were.
It all shifts and flashes
Who are you in this conversation,
A picture that really doesn’t fit inside the frame?
It’s a Sagittarius eclipse,
Celestial spirits and centaurs-
It’s so perfect, half this thing and half that thing
Neither in this world or
That one.
That’s where I live, inside the between places.
With a ticking clock.
Who am I?
What do I do?
I draw pictures of wide eyed dolls
And make my own dreamscape.
I live for pleasure and the glow.
I grow sharp fangs.
I am wavering and intangible.

I)       Jug jug jug jug jug jug
Singing to myself,
Walking on the side of the road
I can walk great distance
I can collect miles,
Across rivers, and fields
Through barns,
Neon and rain
Smoky clubs and dive bars
In the city,
Through music,
And kitchens
Across the stage, even.
Looking upward
The earth splinters under me:
Jug jug jug jug jug jug
Strange fruit
Offered by the spirits
Along a hidden trail
Mud and mountains
Which leads to a fairy ring,
A print here of
I print there of
Body swept along in the breeze
Scared and hungry and waiting
The sound of memory:
Jug jug jug jug jug jug.
Trying to get started
Trying to recall the sun on his face
With my memories
Seek shelter, direction
And find the signs
on the side of the road.  

On Loneliness, Pt. 2

He stops short of the entryway, and his shadow falls long over the carpet. "Come out and say how-do," I say jokingly. It was a f...