Sunday, January 28, 2018

Bradbury Challenge Week #4

Wrapping up this week I have to conclude that just because I'm writing a whole lot and I think, I hope, improving on my craft and I think, I hope, discovering a lot more about my strengths and weaknesses about myself as a writer it doesn't mean that success is imminent and I'll be signing some major contracts any time soon. Writing is pretty humbling, especially when sending things out into the world and not getting a whole lot of responses back. Okay, not getting ANY responses back is more to the point. But there is one thing I CAN say. I'm doing it, and I'm trying. Maybe I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I was in December. The theory is that the more I write, the better I get at it, so just because I haven't heard any responses from any place I've sent any writing to doesn't mean that in the future it'll be the same brick wall. Most of what I'm sending out is the stuff that's in my wheelhouse: spec fiction, horror, some sci-fi, urban fantasy, that type of thing. Almost anything with magic, mythology and a bit of darkness. That's where I live. I live for this stuff, and writing about it, and making time for it and room for it in my life has made that door open for me, like I talked about in previous posts. And I really don't feel terrible about writerly rejection. There's only been about three since the beginning of the year, and for one I know these things take time and two, I'm just not obsessing over it. Most places are too overwhelmed to send back a critique of what worked for them and what didn't, at least in my experience. Plus it gives me a chance to keep polishing it for another submission to someplace else. It could be right for something else someday. Rejection doesn't make me stop believing in my own work. I think it does for other people, though, and if I look at it as a bigger metaphor for life relationships, I mean how many people stop believing in themselves after being rejected in relationships? *raises hand* I know I have, at least before I was married. This is different for me, somehow. Maybe it's also knowing how many mainstream and very successful authors were also rejected before they landed success, and I'm not even shopping for major publishers at the moment, just small calls for short stories, for the most part. Maybe it's time to look towards branching out into plays, which was my MFA after all, and some other venues. Maybe open things up a bit, and not let myself be so constrained. Speaking of not being so constrained, I have returned to script writing, after a fashion. Playwrighting (and yes it's spelled right although my spellcheck always tells me its not) was my concentration and I'm trying to build my ASMR brand. So I'm new to ASMR creation, although not to the world of ASMR and I can't wait to keep producing more videos. It's wonderful to be writing this much. I feel very driven.I've only uploaded a few videos to my YouTube channel, and most of them are non-talking and background noise or misophonia-masking videos. I have horrible misophonia, and discovered ASMR videos last year as a way to cope, and was so smitten with the genre and the variety that I knew I had fallen in love and found a calling at the same time. Not only that, but it gives me a chance to be creative in a theatrical way so I get to have theatre back in my life, which is awesome. Things have a way of finding their way to you (or back to you) if you really want them. I believe that now. I didn't believe that for so, so, long. Maybe it's because the wait seems to long, but then--why wait? Things sometimes, though very rarely, drop into your lap. In any case, I've got about a million ideas, and a character list about as long as my arm. Creativity finds a way. It's theatre, it's writing, it's performing, it's everything I went to school for. Now, if I could just find a props department...=)

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