Thursday, April 11, 2019

A to Z Challenge--Day #11--K-Kurt Cobain

TW/CW Depression, Suicide
There’s a short list of people who defined this decade, and Kurt is very near, if not right at the top of the list. I remember sitting on the floor of my living room, the kids room, which had a separate area from the formal family room, listening to Kurt Loder report on Kurt Cobain’s death, and feeling it, hard. Afterwards, watching MTV Unplugged on a loop, over and over, and seeing if, like many others, if there was some clue, some ccode to unravel, something we all missed. Here’s a clip from that day. The one that I watched from living room floor, with my nose practically pressed to the tv screen. I know sometimes we seem to feel a little embarrassed sometimes when we admit how deeply we feel a celebrity’s death because we didn’t know them, but it feels like we do. Because in certain cases and in some ways, they do. Some of them, sometimes. I don’t know if we ever really know why people make the choice, or if it really is a “choice” to take one’s life. It is more complicated and challenging than I am going to tackle here in a short blog post. Suffice it to say, it’s something I’ve had to struggle with since I was twelve so it’s not something I take lightly. I know how depression takes over your life, your thoughts. It changes you. So does time, so does money and fame. I have 4th graders who come to school with Nirvana t-shirts, and I know they don't know what a "Heart Shaped Box" is. They might not be the main reason, but I think it was a contributing factor, the commercialization. (For the record I have 5th graders who say they love Queen, because of the movie, but hurl "gay" as an insult, so, sigh.) I’ve also wondered what it would have been like, if he had made more music. I would have liked to have heard it, and I don’t think I’m the only one.

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